If I asked you to walk through one of two doors labelled ‘successful’ and ‘unsuccessful’ respectively, which door would you choose to walk through and why?
The common expectation is that you should choose to walk through the door labelled ‘successful’, because that is how you should see yourself regardless of where you think you are in your life. But in my experience as a coach, whenever I ask my clients this question and also instruct them to close their eyes and focus on their truest feelings before they choose a door, most of them end up choosing to walk through the door labelled ‘unsuccessful’ instead.
Though their choice leaves them feeling both surprised and slightly disappointed with how they truly see themselves, this short exercise quickly turns into the first and most important step towards reconnecting them with their inner greatness.
What makes someone choose the ‘unsuccessful’ door?
This choice is brought on by an overwhelming feeling that they don’t deserve to walk through the other door because they haven’t achieved success in certain areas of their lives yet. So even though they really want to walk through the ‘successful’ door, that feeling of being unsuccessful is like a heavy anchor that keeps them stuck where they are and only releases them when they begin to walk towards the successful door. Can you remember the last time you felt like this? Where does that feeling come from and why is it so strong?
Let’s bring this back to ourselves now. Have you ever considered why it is so much easier to believe the worst about ourselves before we believe the best? Or why we tend to value relationships with other people more than we value the relationship we have with ourselves? Why is it easier to see other people as successful, while referring to ourselves as ‘not quite there yet’?
That feeling is the result of a continuous negative thinking pattern that we all fall victim to at various times in our lives. It’s a pattern of thinking we develop every time we give in to the negative thoughts we have about ourselves when we’re faced with a challenging situation. The bad news is that we don’t always realise that we are developing this pattern before it consumes us. The good news is that the signs are there and they’re quite easy to pick up once you’re aware of them. In part 2 of this article we’ll take a deeper look into where the pattern starts, what signs we should look out for and what we can do to interrupt the pattern.
It’s time to give yourself a fresh perspective on who you are and what you need to start focusing on to get yourself through the ‘successful’ door – the one that you really want.4